The Moment I Knew
by just-jilyy
Summary: James was the first to know. Lily was the last. This is a collection of moments in which it became clear that the two were in love.
1. James

**James**

**Third Year**

If you asked James Potter the moment he knew he was in love with Lily Evans, he could tell you the exact moment that it happened. He would tell you how he had always thought Lily was pretty, even-or especially-when she was angry with him, and he had known that she was smart and brave and a little bit mischievous, despite her efforts to hide that side of herself. James could tell you quite a bit about Lily Evans, what he had learned about her or observed of her throughout the years. But the moment he knew he was in love with her, well, James Potter could tell you every detail.

It was a crisp fall day in the middle of October, the weather was just starting to change from brisk fall to winter chill and the ground was covered in the brilliantly colorful leaves from the trees around the grounds. James and Sirius had just discovered where Remus was actually going when he was supposed to be visiting his mum every month and had decided to go and check out the Whomping Willow themselves.

They were halfway to the tree when James heard her and his steps slowed. He didn't know what it was, but something funny had started happening in his chest everytime Evans was around. James looked around, his hand darting to his already messy hair as he sought out the girl whose laugh made his stomach clench.

"What're you doing, mate?" Sirius, who had finally noticed that James was hanging back, asked.

James, however, had finally caught a glimpse of Lily and ignored Sirius completely. He felt as though he had been hit in the face with a stunning spell by Evans herself-she was, after all, the best in their year at it.

She was sitting at the base of a tree by the lake with Mary MacDonald and Marlene McKinnon. Their books were pushed to the side as they sat talking and Lily's head was tipped back as she laughed at something Marlene was saying. Lily's auburn hair was backlit by the sun and looked as though it was on fire. He couldn't hear their words, but the sound of Lily's laugh reached his ears and he froze. Something was happening in his chest-his heart was pumping fast and loud, he could hear the blood rushing in his ears and his hands felt clammy as he clenched them.

"Mate?" Sirius asked again, turning to look at James. His gaze followed James's line of sight and he sighed. "Oi. What're you staring at Evans like that for?"

James's mouth was dry. He forced his gaze away from Lily and looked to Sirius, who was staring at him with a confused expression, his brow furrowed. Before he could respond, an angry shout broke across the quiet grounds and a group of fifth year Slytherins-lead by Mulciber and Malfoy-ran up the pathway back to the castle. They were being chased by a flock of small birds who were dropping branches on them as they ran, their arms over their head in an attempt at protection.

James's gaze snapped back to the girls sitting by the tree just in time to see Lily slip her wand back into her pocket, a satisfied smile on her face. Their eyes met and James watched her face flood with color, the tell-tale blush giving her away. Looking entirely unapologetic, Lily tipped her nose up and stared back at him challengingly, as though she was daring him to ask her what she had done. He couldn't help but grin at her, and was pleased when a slight smile graced her lips before she turned away, back to her friends.

"I don't know what's going on around her today, but it's been bloody strange." Sirius said.

James turned to look at him and shook his head. "Dunno mate. Let's go check out the willow."

Later, when James went to bed that night, he knew that he was in trouble. Lily Evans had the ability to make him lose his train of thought, to distract him and make his stomach tie itself up in knots just from the sound of her laughter. She was beautiful and mischievous and kind. She was brave and funny.

James would have thought it was strange, to know he was in love at thirteen years old, but looking back on it he was more than sure that that October afternoon was the moment he knew.


	2. Remus

**Remus**

**Fifth Year**

Remus had suspected that there were mutual feelings for quite some time. Something about the way James had become more quiet and reflective in his discussions about her, the realization that her rants were a little less angry and the fact that he had caught her looking at him in class with a new look in her eye, an almost puzzled expression on her face. But the moment he knew was also the moment that turned out to be a catalyst for a lot of moments in all of their lives.

When Remus Lupin had befriended the troublesome duo in their first year, he knew that his life would be full of chaotic energy. James Potter and Sirius Black did things because they felt like it. Neither of them worried about if their actions affected other people. Remorse wasn't in their vocabulary either. Their actions and decisions were based on if they would get a good laugh out of it or not. And Severus Snape provided the two of them with the best target for a good laugh.

So when Remus entered the dormitory he shared with his three best mates and found James Potter sitting on the edge of his trunk at the foot of his bed clutching his bloody fist in the opposite hand, he knew that things were changing.

"What happened?" Remus asked wearily.

James looked up from his hand and met Remus's eyes defiantly. "Nothing."

Remus rolled his eyes. "C'mon Prongs. Did you go and hit Snape on top of everything else?"

"No." James scoffed. He looked away, back down at his bloody knuckles as he tried to flex his fingers. "It was the wall."

Remus paused. "The wall?"

"Yes, Moony. The wall. I hit the fucking wall, alright?" James replied angrily. He jumped up from where he was seated and began to pace the room. "I hit the wall because I'm an idiot. I picked a fight that got Evans hurt because I'm a selfish fucking prick who just wanted a good laugh and didn't give a shit about anyone else."

His good hand shot into his hair, gripping the black strands until his knuckles went white. He turned to Remus and met his gaze, showing Remus the raw emotion in his eyes that he normally would have hidden and brushed off as nothing.

"Mate. Don't be so hard on yourself. Lily didn't get physically hurt. She's bloody well pissed but she'll be fine." Remus said, moving closer to James. It was strange, to be the one consoling James. Normally it was the other way around-James assuring Remus he wasn't a monster, that he wasn't a burden or an outcast. James was always the one who had everything so neatly put together.

"Did you hear what he called her, Moony?" James asked. His voice cracked, but Remus pretended he didn't hear.

"Yeah, mate. I did."

"He wouldn't have called her that if I hadn't embarrassed him. He's a greasy prick and he deserved it, but it's my fault he called her that."

Remus stayed silent. Seeing James look so torn up was jarring. He had never felt guilt for any of the pranks he had pulled-even the one that had inflated a kid's head to three times its size and landed him in St. Mungo's was just a great laugh, but here he was absolutely torn to bits about Lily Evans being called something vile by someone who all four of the Marauders knew was no good but was her mate nonetheless.

"You didn't force him to call her that, Prongs. And Lily knows that. She was there." Remus sighed and crossed the room to sit on the edge of his bed. "Sure, you were a bit of a prick, but Snape was too, and he was the one who took it too far."

James stopped pacing and leaned against his bed frame. He scrubbed a hand over his face, knocking his glasses askew as he did so.

"He should've taken it out on me, Moony. Not her. Evans doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve to be called something so...so _awful_. She's the most brilliant witch in our year. She smart and talented and...and just so _bloody brilliant_."

Remus bit back a smile as James scrambled for more words to describe Lily. He was used to hearing James praise her, but seeing him now, here in this moment, the pieces of the puzzle clicked together so effortlessly in Remus's mind that he couldn't believe that he hadn't seen it before. James didn't just fancy Lily Evans. It wasn't just a small crush because he thought she was fit and she challenged him in their studies and kept him on his toes.

No, it was so much more than that. Remus could see it clearly on James's face. It was evident in the way that James was so torn up about Lily being called the worst name possible. James Potter, his best mate, was _in love._ And when Remus stopped to think about it-when he really took the time to look back and review every encounter and conversation-he wasn't so sure that the feeling wasn't mutual. And while he knew, Remus also knew that bringing attention to it would only prolong the inevitable for his two friends. So Remus would keep it-this moment that he knew-to himself.

Still biting back a grin, Remus nodded at James. "Yeah mate, she's a brilliant witch."


End file.
